I’m sure you’ve already dealt with them. Whether it’s the pessimistic or selfish friend, the jealous cousin, the grouchy co-worker, the difficult neighbor or you name it, toxic people can suck the happiness out of you and drain your energy.
Toxic people are highly manipulative people. They only care about their own needs, goals, and interests. To get what they want, they won’t be hesitant or shamed to lie to, belittle or blame you for things you haven’t done.
They’ll do whatever it takes to become the center of attention and make themselves appear smarter and better than you. They can lure you into their harmful trap before you can blink.
Recognizing the signs of toxic people will make you more prepared to deal with them and save you from their negative and damaging influence.
Following are 7 telltale signs of toxic people:
1. They are inconsistent.
If you know someone who is so kind, lovely, and supportive one day, but gets grumpy and starts criticizing or even insulting you the next, you can be sure you’re dealing with a toxic person.
You can do nothing that could upset or make them change their behavior towards you, but still, they’ll treat you differently. Toxic people are highly unpredictable and confusing and it’s difficult to tell which version of them you’re seeing.
2. They blatantly lie.
It’s hard to tell when a toxic person is honest and when they’re lying. To control and get what they want from you, they use a series of lies without feeling any shame.
They can twist or hide information from you, intentionally mislead or just downright lie to you. Moreover, they’re so good at obscuring the truth that they always manage to hide their faults successfully.
3. They are very selfish.
The only people they care about are themselves. To ensure their goals and needs are met, they always try to be the main topic of discussion. If you try to talk about your problems, they’ll immediately change the topic and redirect the attention to themselves.
They have no consideration for your feelings and wants. Or if you have a toxic boss, don’t be surprised if he/she gives you extra tasks to finish although you feel sick or need to pick up your kid from school. As long as their needs are satisfied, nothing else matters.
4. They create drama out of everything.
These attention seekers exaggerate their problems, no matter how little or big they are and manage to make an unnecessary fuss. It’s all about drama. They act as if all the bad thing in the world happen to them.
You know, their house got burgled, their partner cheated on them with their best friend, or everybody envies them. The list is endless. To make you sympathize with them, they use every opportunity to complain and moan about how difficult their life is.
5. They always play the victim role.
Taking responsibility for their own actions is out of the question. They will lie to, belittle, and hurt you, but they’ll never admit their wrongdoings. Instead, they act as if they’re the ones whose feelings have been hurt and of course, they did nothing to deserve that.
To make themselves look like innocent victims, they’ll always be willing to put the blame on you. They’ll use your words against you and make you feel irresponsible and inconsiderate. Or if they’re having a bad day, they’ll tell you that it’s your fault because you were too demanding or harsh on them. They’re ready to do anything to get their way.
6. They badmouth others.
Hell yeah. Not to be the smartest and most successful person in the room is their biggest nightmare. To make themselves appear better than you, they don’t hesitate to downplay the importance of your achievements and make you feel unworthy. They aren’t ashamed to say bad things about you behind your back to tarnish your reputation and make themselves feel superior to you.
7. Whatever they say or do, they’re always right.
Although the things they say can often be a complete nonsense, they’ll never allow you to tell them or prove that they’re wrong. They can come up with hundreds of arguments so as to show you and others that their point of view is correct. They’ll argue with you until they make the conversation unbearable to the point you give up. And of course, what you believe or say is either irrelevant or wrong.
How you can handle them
To prevent them from creating havoc in your life, the best thing would be to completely distance yourself from them. Yet, in cases where you can’t just ignore them, here are 3 useful ways you can deal with them effectively:
1. Never trust them.
Don’t let their kindness and compassion fool you. This is only a mask they use to hide their true face and intentions. Keep your personal problems, secrets, and important information to yourself.
Sharing them with a toxic person is the same as sharing them with the whole city. Most probably, they’ll use your secrets against you in front of others and ruin your reputation.
2. Don’t lose your temper.
Don’t let their negativity make you lose control over your behavior and start shouting at them. Instead, try to stay calm and politely disengage from the conversation.
3. Stand your ground.
Don’t let them push your limits and make you behave in a way which is opposed to your standards. Show them you’re firm in your beliefs and most likely they’ll give up trying to gain control over your opinions and actions.
Whichever way you choose, don’t try to change or fix them. Their behavior is beyond any repair!
Image: Vadim Az
Riley Cooper is a professional writer who writes informative and creative articles on topics related to various fields of study. Written with love and enthusiasm, her articles inspire readers to broaden their knowledge of the world, think and get ready to act.